Isn’t that adorable? Just look at him… look at that fluffy guy! He’s called a Caucasian shepherd dog, and he’s probably the cutest puppy I’ve ever seen. He’s tiny and lovable and will totally fuck your day up. Actually, that dog would tie your day in a sack, chop it up, and throw it into a river… but not before taking a large shit in the sack first.
Here’s the pup again, but all grown up:
And here’s another one, but this time you can appreciate this dog’s massive hugeness:
Basically, this dog eats St. Bernards for breakfast. And then follows it up with a Prius. Wikipedia describes these monsters as “strongly-boned” and “very muscular.” It also says that they have “no maximum height.” Which kinda means that, somewhere off in the mountains, there’s a Caucasian Shepherd the size of a school bus eating trees and humping entire villages to death.
Wikipedia also notes, these dogs are “assertive, brave, alert, strong, hardy and courageous to a fault.” Almost sounds like the perfect boy scout. Except the perfect boy scout doesn’t look like this:
Lastly, similar to other Caucasian species, this dog is hostile to all other types of other races. That is, if it sees another dog, it’ll probably eat it. Maybe its owner too, if it feels like being a dick that day.
…yet another reason never to travel to Russia.