Stanford Prison Experiment

In 1971, some brainiacs over at Stanford University decided it’d be totally sweet to stick some random people in a prison and see what happens. Apparently, they wanted to see the psychological effects of being a prisoner or a prison guard.

One tendency quickly became apparent...

So they wrote up an ad in the local paper, tested 70 applicants, and ended up choosing the 24 most psychologically stable and healthy college students. As you’ll see shortly, the best humanity has to offer is actually really, really crappy. Continue reading

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Honey Badgers: the Opposite of Sloths

If you haven’t already checked out my post on why Sloths should be extinct, feel free to hit that up right here.

I basically discuss how sloths are slow, weak, and exceedingly ugly animals, and how they have no right to continue existing. But now, I’d like to dedicate a post to what is ostensibly the opposite of the sloth: the honey badger.

The honey badger, or “ratel” as it’s known in Afrikaans, actually has similar features to those of the sloth: small ears, a small, flat head, a short snout, and a short tail. And just like the sloth, it’s incredibly ugly. But while the sloth’s ugly just makes you wanna hit it until it goes away, the ratel’s ugly is more of a mean ugly, a touch-me-and-I’ll-kill-your-family ugly.

Whatchu lookin' at, bitch?

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Andrew Jackson: American Lion (and Bloodthirsty Old Guy)

You might know our 7th president as a hero during the War of 1812, as an influential politician who had a massive impact on the Democratic party, or at least as the guy on the 20-dollar bill. He was also batshit crazy, and enjoyed violencing the hell out of anyone and anything he could find.

For example, his slightly-less-than-badass nickname, “Old Hickory,” actually comes from the fact that he enjoyed beating people senseless with his hickory cane.

He probably ended up beating the bejesus out of his painter for not making his cane wide enough.

By the way, he’s also really famous for commanding the army that won the Battle of New Orleans, during the War of 1812. Some historians try to say he won that battle because of a whole bunch of reasons, including the possibility that a miracle occurred. But I say nay, nay. I say he won… because he had pirates on his side. Baratarian Pirates, to be exact, and here’s one of the first images that comes up on Google Images when you search that term:

Seriously.

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How the hell are sloths not extinct yet?

Charles Darwin obviously never saw a sloth. Because if he did, he would’ve kicked himself in the balls at the thought that that was the survivor, the fighter, the fittest animal nature could design. If that’s the best evolution can do, I think we’re better off with a God who just doesn’t give two shits about what happens down here.

The crowning glory of millions of years of evolution: an ugly, homeless ape.

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One effective strategy of war: just not giving a damn.

Russian military commanders (specifically Stalin) are well-trained in the art of not caring. Check this out:

Winter, 1941: It’s the Battle of Moscow, and German troops are knocking on Russia’s door less than a few dozen miles from the capital. The worn-out, discouraged Red Army is fighting against fresh, well-trained German troops, but that’s okay: nothing that a healthy dose of not giving a damn can’t handle!

Tada! The Soviet Union's secret weapon.

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Dunning-Kruger Effect

We all know that guy. That guy, who thinks he’s the shit at Halo when he’s actually garbage. That guy, who claims to be amazing at soccer, but can’t even dribble a ball past the defender. That guy, who talks about how good he is at something, when in actuality, he completely sucks. We all know him — he’s a dick, and no one likes him.

Moments before: "Hey guys, wanna see how awesome I am? Look what I can do!"

We’ve wondered for a long time, “From whence does this dick come? Why does he act so dickish?” Well, it seems there’s finally an answer. In psychology, there’s this thing called the Dunning-Kruger effect, which basically states that, if someone’s good at something, they underestimate their level of skill, and if someone’s crap at something, they underestimate their level of crappiness.

Shut up, you knew a picture of her was coming as soon as I mentioned inadequacy.

Although...

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Reasons Never to Invade Russia. Ever.

Along with drinking a lot of Vodka, cold weather is one of the most persistent stereotypes about Russian life. And, when you look at the facts, it’s pretty easy to see why: it’s really fucking cold.

Now, when I say cold, I don’t mean you walk outside one day without a coat and you shiver a little.

Although...

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